Nightlife, Nightlife Articles

Bottom Shelf Booze, Fernet

Will Betton

By | October 1, 2009

Welcome to LandingPadBA.com’s Guide to Bottom Shelf Booze!

In this era of global economic crisis, everyone is in search of ways to save a few pennies. One of the easiest ways to do so is to venture into the realm of the bottom shelf. This is, however, dangerous territory. Buy the wrong bottle, and you could wind up writhing at the taste of a nasty concoction, and later suffering from a wicked hangover.

The bottom shelf doesn’t have to be so scary! With this guide, you’ll more confidently find that cheap and delicious booze of your choice, avoid nasty repercussions and save some dough. So be bold and venture forth. The bottom shelf isn’t such a bad place to be, after all.

Fernet
Vittone Reportedly made by the same company that produces Branca, the only suitable fernet, the quality of Vittone is lesser than that of its step-sibling, but delicious for the price you pay.
Ick Factor yucky-faceyucky-face
Price Dollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-Green
Hangover hangoverhangover
Abuelo Barely even recognizable as fernet, Abuelo leaves an aftertaste that won’t quit and turns your stomach inside out. Was that a chocolate undertone I detect?
Ick Factor yucky-faceyucky-faceyucky-faceyucky-face
Price Dollar-Sign,-Green
Hangover hangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangover
Ottone Cheap as dirt and tastes like it too. This spirit is only valuable as a punishment drink. Once you’ve had one of these shots you will NEVER lose again. Really, you will knife someone before taking one of these shots again.
Ick Factor yucky-faceyucky-faceyucky-faceyucky-faceyucky-face
Price Dollar-Sign,-Green
Hangover hangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangover

Key:

Ick Factor yucky-face Indicates the level of displeasure one experiences in drinking said booze. The ick factor is measured on a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is relatively yummy and 5 is nastier than licking the back of a gas station toilet.
Price Dollar-Sign,-Green The prices of bottom shelf boozes have been measured relatively, on a scale from 1 to 5, where 1 indicates a cheap (and typically dangerous) booze, and 5 stands for one of the more spendy items. Keep in mind that we’re talking about the bottom shelf here. The prices of these boozes don’t typically exceed $30 pesos
Hangover hangover Rating a hangover is difficult to measure, but we’ve tried. On a scale of 1 to 5, 1 hangover buddy would indicate a pretty smooth morning after. A 5 is a deathly experience, one to be avoided entirely.

Check out other bottom shelf boozes:
Rum
Whiskey
Gin
Vodka

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