Nightlife, Nightlife Articles

Bottom Shelf Booze, Whiskey

Will Betton

By | October 1, 2009

Welcome to LandingPadBA.com’s Guide to Bottom Shelf Booze!

In this era of global economic crisis, everyone is in search of ways to save a few pennies. One of the easiest ways to do so is to venture into the realm of the bottom shelf. This is, however, dangerous territory. Buy the wrong bottle, and you could wind up writhing at the taste of a nasty concoction, and later suffering from a wicked hangover.

The bottom shelf doesn’t have to be so scary! With this guide, you’ll more confidently find that cheap and delicious booze of your choice, avoid nasty repercussions and save some dough. So be bold and venture forth. The bottom shelf isn’t such a bad place to be, after all.

Whiskey
Hiriam Walker Recommenation: for mixing drinks only. This aint no sippin’ man’s whiskey. While one or two of these may be just fine, drink any Hiriam Walker spirit all night and you’ll pay for it in hangover.
Ick Factor yucky-faceyucky-faceyucky-faceyucky-face
Price Dollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-Green
Hangover hangoverhangoverhangoverhangover
Breeder’s Choice Cheapest sip-able whiskey. Although most would refrain from imbibing in this whiskey in its pure form. Don’t drink too much Breeder’s or it will impeed upon the use of your peeder.
Ick Factor yucky-faceyucky-face
Price Dollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-Green
Hangover hangoverhangover
Seagram’s A notch above Breeder’s in terms of flavor, at roughly the same price. If you want to sip and save money, this is probably your best option.
Ick Factor yucky-face
Price Dollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-Green
Hangover hangoverhangover
Old Smuggler The Old Smuggler can be a wry and salty bastard with a short fuse. When drinking him he is busy smuggling in all the shit that makes you hung over the next day into your body.
Ick Factor yucky-faceyucky-faceyucky-faceyucky-face
Price Dollar-Sign,-GreenDollar-Sign,-Green
Hangover hangoverhangoverhangoverhangoverhangover

Key:

Ick Factor yucky-face Indicates the level of displeasure one experiences in drinking said booze. The ick factor is measured on a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is relatively yummy and 5 is nastier than licking the back of a gas station toilet.
Price Dollar-Sign,-Green The prices of bottom shelf boozes have been measured relatively, on a scale from 1 to 5, where 1 indicates a cheap (and typically dangerous) booze, and 5 stands for one of the more spendy items. Keep in mind that we’re talking about the bottom shelf here. The prices of these boozes don’t typically exceed $30 pesos
Hangover hangover Rating a hangover is difficult to measure, but we’ve tried. On a scale of 1 to 5, 1 hangover buddy would indicate a pretty smooth morning after. A 5 is a deathly experience, one to be avoided entirely.

Check out other bottom shelf boozes:
Rum
Fernet
Gin
Vodka

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