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Dating Scene: Guys and Girls in Argentina

Madalyn Roberg

By | July 13, 2020

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Whether you’re swiping through Tinder, or hoping to meet an Argentine in the flesh, Buenos Aires has its own set of dating customs. Here is our guide for navigating the cultural differences one is bound to encounter on the dating scene in Argentina.

There’s something undeniably exciting about falling in love in a foreign land. Especially somewhere like Argentina, where everything from the sultry tango, and low lit romantic restaurants to handsome Latin men seem to be right around every corner. However, if you plan on letting an Argentine man sweep you off your feet, you should probably know some of the most common ways that dating culture is different in Buenos Aires. Disclaimer: the following set of distinctions are sweeping generalizations of an entire population, of which, there are certainly many exceptions.

For those looking for advice on dating the Argentine Women Head straight to Dating Scene: Guys and Girls in Argentina Part II.

How aggressive or forward are the men in Argentina?

If you’ve traveled through other Latin American countries you may be pleasantly surprised to find that cat-calling is almost non-existent in Buenos Aires. Thanks to a feminist movement in the city over the last 10 years, the Porteños (Argentinian men in Buenos Aires) have cut back on their aggressive behavior towards women on the streets. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for bars and nightclubs.

Once the sun goes down, and the drinks start flowing, many of the men become quite grabby and less likely to take no for an answer. In their defense, when Argentine women say no, it’s often intended as more of a flirty game of cat and mouse. A local friend explained to me that this is a sort of test. If a man is truly attracted to a woman, he will try twice. The second attempt is typically a more creative endeavor, and if executed with savvy, could pay off in the end. This often leaves foreign women confused as to why the word “no”, which conveniently requires no translation, isn’t being understood? If you are truly not interested in an Argentine suitor, one must forcefully tell him no (possibly several times), and give him no indications that you’re interested. No eye contact, no smile, and no polite conversation. All of this can be misconstrued as that invitation to try again.

If you’re hoping to meet someone in a more relaxed scenario, consider heading to a language exchange, or joining a sports team, where the men are generally on better behavior.

New Year's Eve and Christmas in Buenos Aires

What’s the deal with public displays of affection in Argentina?

Those of us North Americans may blush at the thought of a passionate public kiss, but for Argentines, PDA is common.

Exhibit A: you’re at a club with your friends and an Argentine has caught your eye. Could be his charming accent, the non-stop compliments, or the Fernet goggles, but you’ve decided to give him the time of day. While you thought you were in for some fun flirting, not even two minutes pass before he goes in for the kiss. It feels forward until you look around and see that you’re surrounded by PDA. The Argentine men like to strike while the iron is hot, and will take any opportunity they see for physical affection. After kissing for a bit at the club, you’re likely to receive an invitation to one of the pay-by-the-hour sex hotels of Argentina. While this may feel like an indecent offer (A motel? Does he think I’m a hooker?), it’s probably just the most practical plan. Most Argentines live with their families well into adulthood.

Exhibit B: You’ve begun dating someone and you’re taking a romantic stroll around the park. However, you’re not getting very far, because every few steps he stops you to pull you into a steamy make out. In the daytime. At the park. Surrounded by children. Once again you look around and notice the couples sprawled out on the grass also making out. Welcome to Argentina, where public displays of affection are an integral part to relationships, and no one bats an eye at grown adults passionately kissing 3 feet away.

Are Argentines known for being flaky?

It’s true. Porteños hold a different attitude toward the spoken word. This is a city where common phrases including, “I’ll call you,” “see you soon,” or “I’m on my way,” are works of only the purest fiction. Newly arrived visitors will wearily wait hours, days or even weeks for a phone call to be returned. They will be left all dressed up with nothing to do on Friday night having naively interpreted their date’s vague “salimos viernes” as set arrangements for an evening out.

For an upcoming date, make sure the plans are concrete, with a set time and place. At a minimum, your date will probably arrive late, but it’s also entirely possible they’ll cancel at the last minute. While this would be considered extremely rude in the USA and most of Europe, here it’s par for the course. Have a backup plan at the ready and don’t let it ruin your night.

What is the meaning of chamuyar?

From the lunfardo lexicon, chamuyar (v) doesn’t have a direct English translation but basically means to sweet talk, flirt or bullshit. When it comes to chamuyando, the Porteños are pros and internationally known for being smooth talkers. They’ll often shower you with compliments upon meeting you (both the eyes and the smile are common targets), and are quick to make grand statements about their feelings for you. Upon meeting an Argentine well versed in chamuyo (n), it’s easy to get swept up in the romanticism, but be careful. The best chamuyeros (n) are often the more likely to play games, or make empty promises, and end up flaking.

Which dating apps are best in Buenos Aires?

According to a study published by Rosario Plus in 2020, 50% of Argentina’s population uses a dating app at least once a month, giving them the second highest percentage of users in the world after China. Over the past few years, Happn, an app that shows you people you’ve crossed paths with in real life, and Bumble, an app that only allows women to make the first move have been steadily gaining popularity. Meanwhile, the tried and true Tinder has remained the most popular option, and where you’ll have the most selection. Just as in the Buenos Aires bar scene, the men on tinder outnumber the women, so you can expect a lot of attention. As soon as you start swiping, the messages will begin pouring in, and they’ll be cutting right to the chase. Many of the men are playing a numbers game, and will message every woman they match with as soon as possible. They’ll generally be romantic and very complimentary right off the bat and try to arrange a meeting ASAP.

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