Welcome to LandingPadBA.com’s Guide to Bottom Shelf Booze!
In this era of global economic crisis, everyone is in search of ways to save a few pennies. One of the easiest ways to do so is to venture into the realm of the bottom shelf. This is, however, dangerous territory. Buy the wrong bottle, and you could wind up writhing at the taste of a nasty concoction, and later suffering from a wicked hangover.
The bottom shelf doesn’t have to be so scary! With this guide, you’ll more confidently find that cheap and delicious booze of your choice, avoid nasty repercussions and save some dough. So be bold and venture forth. The bottom shelf isn’t such a bad place to be, after all.
|“Castillo”||Our personal bottom shelf favorite. Makes for a decent cuba libre. Just don’t forget the lime. Dare we say that we actually enjoy this rum?|
|“Martinique”||Good value for its price, although it certainly retains that bottom shelf flavor, diluted gasoline.|
|“Jamaicano”||Similar price to Castillo, but slightly inferior in terms of flavor. Jamaican-me wanna buy a different rum.|
|Ick Factor||Indicates the level of displeasure one experiences in drinking said booze. The ick factor is measured on a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is relatively yummy and 5 is nastier than licking the back of a gas station toilet.|
|Price||The prices of bottom shelf boozes have been measured relatively, on a scale from 1 to 5, where 1 indicates a cheap (and typically dangerous) booze, and 5 stands for one of the more spendy items. Keep in mind that we’re talking about the bottom shelf here. The prices of these boozes don’t typically exceed $30 pesos|
|Hangover||Rating a hangover is difficult to measure, but we’ve tried. On a scale of 1 to 5, 1 hangover buddy would indicate a pretty smooth morning after. A 5 is a deathly experience, one to be avoided entirely.|