Saving money in Buenos Aires can be a difficult task when faced with ever increasing inflation, political and economical instability every 10 years or so and a fluctuating value to the national currency, the peso.
So what does this have to do with sex hotels? Telos (hotel in Argentine reverse slang is telo) were the answer to the sexual needs of many adolescents and young adults alike. Entrepreneurs began to build hotels that had hourly charges, but were kept sterile clean and appealing to the masses.
You see, young adult couples are saving for their own apartments and cars by living with their parents until the ripe age of 30 in many cases. As a thirty year old Argentinean living with your parents…where would you go?
As an American if you mention a sex hotel to me I think of a flea ridden, needle covered floor, stained mattresses, etc. The vast majority of telos in the city are quite the opposite! Thoroughly cleaned after each couple (or trio if you’re lucky) by an OCD maid and given fresh plastic seals on everything to prove just that. To the telos we go! But where….?
D’Ord, corner of Anchorena y Charcas
An old classic telo in Buenos Aires, these guys have been around for a while. Typical layout, mirrors on the ceilings or walls, room service, control panel for lights (black, red, dimer), radio, TV. Some rooms have some pretty cool showers or baths.
Rating: A good introduction telo for first timers.
La Rampa, corner of Carranza y Cordoba
Great variety of rooms, both themed and spacious. Most are geared towards people with cars, but don’t let that stop you! Greek pillar room FTW.
Rating: Very convenient if you are going out near Club Niceto, Carnal and Banglore. Worth the trip from anywhere.
La Fusta, corner of Ortega y Gasset
Although conveniently located for those that are out and about in Las Cañitas it is the only option in the area. The exterior design is so promising at the two entrances (1. With its massive naked female statue lasciviously posed amongst phallic flames or 2. Sexy S&M female in Atlas pose, supporting the structure of the entrance way.), but falls short of expectations with standard rooms and prices that reflect Las Cañitas.
Rating: Convenient if the mood strikes while in the area.
Very spacious rooms, nice baths, showers with unique layouts- this place could serve as a great regular hotel. Seriously, I would stay here in Buenos Aires if I had the money.
Rating: Great rooms, classy place.
Dallas, Ecuador y Gral. Juan D Peron
This place makes me laugh every time. The owner either has a sense of humor or a bad idea of what is sexy. Two words for you: Themed Rooms that loosely follow said theme. Ex: Medieval room has taken two single water beds and laid them side by side with a weird wooden divider in the center. Throw some random armor, Gothic toned paint, some fake swords…
Roman, Japanese they got plenty here. The top floor suite has a nice Jacuzzi, balcony that overlooks the neighborhood and non-theme layout.
Rating: Good middle ground between San Telmo and Palermo, rooms are entertaining. Bit of a dangerous area at night though. Careful-
Hotel Pink, Venezuela y La Rioja
A bit further into the Centro/Congreso area you’ll find the king of themed rooms, Hotel Pink. This place has some really bizarre themes; Sushi, Tango…Orgy!? All sorts of options here with themes and pricing.
Rating: Definitely worth a visit*. The sheer quantity of rooms and themes within one hotel makes this joint stand out as the best within Capital Federal.
The highway that encircles Capital Federal, Buenos Aires is also home to the best of the best when it comes to telos. These places are like a mix between casinos in Las Vegas and miniature golf courses. Bright lights, ridiculous designs and cheesy taste make for some real diamonds in the rough!
The mythical “Jardines de Babylonia” gets the top rating from these A-listers. Careful, you will likely need a car to get here. We’ve heard that they turn taxis with young couples away.
Rating: The pinnacle of telos is Las Jardines de Babylonia. The towering pillars and glorious gates will trump all telos in the universe.
For a general listing for these hotels in Buenos Aires try: http://www.alberguesonline.com.ar
For more information on transitorios or telos in Buenos Aires in English