Darkside, Guides to the Darkside of Buenos Aires

Dating Advice: For the Gents in Buenos Aires

Anonymous

By | July 15, 2010


Histerica, An Outsiders Perspective

*As a precursor to keep us out of hot water; we are generalizing in this article for simplicity’s sake*. Not every girl in Buenos Aires is histerica nor attractive. Not every male tourist is as cool as our LandingPad authors. In conclusion we can state that many females in Buenos Aires are hot and all these women should come hang out with us. Glad we got this cleared up…

Arriving to Buenos Aires as a male bachelor can be visually, the greatest decision you have ever made. The ladies here are very attractive, classy, well read and they’re not from your annoying home country. There have been many occasions where I have walked into a bar and mentally confirmed that I would have sex with 80% of the females. This will be the case when in Buenos Aires for you gents.

*Tip for the ladies reading this: Yes, if we are a single male we almost always do a mental confirmation upon entering a room, bar, outside…about who we would “make it” with.

Now, let us introduce a term the Buenos Aires males have coined: “Histerica”. The loose definition of this word does not mean hysterical. Rather it was translated to me once as “she is hot, and then cold.” Apply this concept to the majority of the females here in Buenos Aires and you have yourself a frustrating time trying to advance to coitus.

Let’s examine with the help of our male friends here in Buenos Aires: When historically contemplating this phenomenon you come to a which came first question: The lovely ladies of Buenos Aires (or “Portenas”) are defensive and have tough exteriors. They hardly pay any attention to a suitor, are dismissive and are self-assured. The local gentlemen are aggressive, charming, quick thinking and confident. Are the ladies merely reacting with this defensive and mysterious behavior to the males’ aggressive advances? Or have our male Argentinean friends had to up their game to pry open the oyster…so to speak? I don’t know, but this is the case.

What’s more important is when you are out with your successful Argentine buddies how do they close the deal so often where you are left standing stirring a drink? They are secure, smooth, charismatic, speak Spanish and probably are generally better looking than you. All helpful elements. But wait- you have an advantage good sir, you are now the exotic foreigner.

Think of how the women react to movies like “French Kiss”, “Zorro” or whatever the kids are watching these days. The foreign males are different. They offer a fresh drink of water and this is what they will partially expect from you.

Using what skills you have (I suggest using some English speaking scenario), eventually you will land ‘the digits’ or perhaps it may be coupled with a kiss (Don’t be afraid to go for the kiss within 10 minutes…I’m not kidding). Let me assure you, this means absolutely nothing. You do not have a booty call guarantee, you don’t have a coffee date, you don’t even have a secure response to whatever communication you shall attempt after the standard two day waiting period. You will have to fight for her attention in any future scenario or will you…

Give her a small amount of attention. The more common complaint I hear is that text message exchanges will commence and typically lead to last minute cancel. Attempts at rendezvous, etc will continue to be cancelled and eventually drift to nada. “She is hot” (got number, kissed in bar) “then cold” (she is now dropping you like an old empanada).

“It’s all a numbers game”. –S.T.

My recommendation is simple and sleazy. Keep going out and seeking more numbers. I know this was probably not the battle plan back in Essex or Maryland or wherever you are from, but there is strategy. If you start building up a pipeline of numbers and juggling messages the effect will be your concentrated attention is diluted and drawn away from just one lady. The slight amount of attention will or should increase your odds.

That’s it. Histerica issue partially solved. Good luck and don’t trust this article. It guarantees nothing-

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