This content is oldddddd. Read on to get an idea about dating in Buenos Aires in the late aughts. For more relevant advice check out Dating Guys and Girls in Argentina, and Dating Guys and Girls in Argentina Part II.
As my Parisian friend Pierre once said, “They say that Paris is the city of love? No, it’s definitely Buenos Aires…(sigh).”
In a city inhabited by immigrants and built on European facades, Buenos Aires has always attempted to emulate the class and style of their wealthy ancestors. While baroque buildings and marble statues may never achieve the splendor of London or Madrid, in terms of passion and love, Buenos Aires wins by far. Passionate public kisses, risqué advertising, seductive tango dances and innocent street flirting have declared this city unabashedly sexy.
As a foreign female, there is no easier feat that meeting a male Porteño. The typical man of Buenos Aires is strong (think chest puffed out), all-knowing, romantic and more than a little narcissistic. He is rarely mistaken, handsome, coddled by his mother and always on the prowl. To him, women are beautiful beings with curves, objects of desire and the means to a happy ending. Foreign women are especially attractive, as the Porteña ladies are often difficult, dramatic, hot tempered and remind them of their mothers.
For a Porteño, finding a woman attractive is like starting at the base of a mountain he plans to climb; it takes little effort, no shame and evokes the distant notion of a conquest.
At this base location, the Porteño is on the streets of Buenos Aires, checking out his options. Just to be safe he throws catcalls to any woman he sees that falls within his (wide) age-range of acceptability. The Porteño catcall is an art and to play the game here, a female traveler must know the rules.
Rule 1. To not look like a foreigner just ignore the call as if you didn’t even hear it. Laughing is OK too.
Rule 2. It is practically a tradition and not looked down upon, even for married men.
Rule 3. Don’t take it personally, here nothing is PC and the term “derogatory” doesn’t
exist.
Rule 4: Catcalls can be yelled across the street or more likely will be whispered to the targets as they pass by.
Rule 4. True Porteño gentlemen probably won’t use this tactic.
Rule 5. If you do happen to find a true gentleman using this tactic alert the press.
The Porteño at the base of the mountain is basically an idiot trying to find a sherpa by insulting them in public. The Porteño who has a heart and truly wants to at least make it to “Base Camp 1” will meet a woman under more controlled circumstances. He is introduced by a friend at a party, pays for her bus ticket or helps her pick out a good piece of meat, and makes eye contact. As eye contact is achieved, both parties (the female target and male hunter) will decide if they are interested in the other. Chances are he is, and she might be.
This “interest” in the other is initially based on sex. While all Porteños crave love and affection, sex is like food, a basic necessity and consumption is a reasonable way to spend time.
Just by achieving the deciding eye contact, the Porteño has made it to Base Camp 1. This is his stage, his opportunity to charm his prey. Just like clockwork, the man subject will proceed with no-holds-bars “chamuyo.”
Pronounced, “cha-moo-show,” this Buenos Aires hallmark is a combination of sweet-talking, bragging, flirting and a touch of mystery. This interaction will probably include some of all of the following:
1. Education on something he knows everything about.
2. A speech on how Argentines invented the pen and Disney Land.
3. Creative compliments paired with a sincere smile
4. An interview
a. Her origins: If she says USA he’s going to say he has an aunt in Houston or ask if people there really are that fat
b. Her plans in the city: He wants to judge your age, competence level and see if he can give suggestions
c. Your relationship status: Wants to know if you have a boyfriend, is he in Buenos Aires? Will you sleep with him anyway?
On Rejecting “El Chamuyo”
Finding him undesirable, phony, imposing or annoying, one can send this message by
a) Turning away and leaving the communal space
Or
b) “Pants” him, figuratively speaking, with one simple phrase that will leave him confused and informed:
“Que chamuyero sos vos!” (Kay cha-moo-sher-oh sos vos)
This is a snarky way of saying, “I see what you’re doing and I’m not fooled by it.”
Practice this phrase with locals to get the right accent and perfect it by using this universal “whats-a-matta-you” gesture:
Thumb meets tips of other fingers, turn wrist so thumb is on top and wag it directly up and down.
On Accepting El Chamuyo
To accept this Porteño’s chamuyo, females should laugh, play with their hair and ask his opinion on what to do, advice, etc. If the chamuyo has been successful, i.e. the female is still interested, and then our proud Porteño has made it to Base Camp 2. Now, all that is left is to negotiate how to spend time with him (make your way up the rest of the mountain) without sleeping with him right away (conquering the summit)- which will be his plan. He might invite her to have mate (in his apartment), to a concert or show or to have a coffee. Outdoor activities are especially entertaining and make advances slightly less convenient. These “chamuyeros” (men of the chamuyo) are likely to show their romantic side now that the female has responded positively to his attempt.
Now that the way of the Porteño is clear, it is time for even better news. Foreign women coming to a strange country are a brave-breed. Generally out-going, curious and street-smart, making the first move is second nature. Porteños love nothing more than being approached by a female because it makes them feel:
a) Very attractive
b) Manly
c) Intrigued
d) All of the above.
Any of the above answers are reason enough for him to lay it on thick with El Chamuyo. Once the Porteño is given his chance to impress, the female may decide to accept or reject as previously outlined.
Foreign males here in Argentina find beginning their assent to the mountain’s Base Camps very difficult. Females should take advantage of their extroverted hosts to make the most of their Buenos Aires experience; Learn about Porteño culture, visit non-tourist sites and discover the passion of daily Buenos Aires life with a local looking to impress.
Madi Lang
LPBA Staff
