Good Gringo/Bad Gringo – Part 1

With this, the first installment of the series, we’ll be following our good and bad gringos through a typical Friday night.

Charles is tonight’s Good Gringo. It is his first weekend in Buenos Aires, though he has done some traveling before, so he is quite skilled at to fitting into other cultures. He understands that every place he visits is unique, and enjoys learning new customs.

Larry, on the other hand, is a Bad Gringo. He has had similar traveling experiences to Charles, though tends to generalize and group together different cultures. He has been to Latin America before, Cancun, Mexico to be exact, and expects Buenos Aires to be the same. He can’t wait to drink frozen margaritas and do tequila shots.

Charles goes to the bar where he waits to meet his friends. Having been warned of the local tendency towards tardiness, he arrives a half-hour later than the time they had planned. He is the first of the group to arrive, so he just orders a beer and waits.

Larry goes to a bar where he is supposed to meet his friends. He is a half-hour early, and doesn’t understand why the place is empty. He begins to send text messages to everyone in his group, wanting to know why they are not there yet. He gets angry when one of them says that he will be there in a few hours. Another friend replies with the message, “Ya voy,” which Larry mistakenly takes to mean, “I’m already there.” He then spends 20 minutes searching the empty bar for this person, who is in fact still getting ready at home.

As a good gringo, Charles drinks his beer and strikes up a conversation with some of the strangers around him. They talk about traveling and music. One of them asks Charles if he likes Buenos Aires, and Charles says yes. Charles makes some grammatical errors in Spanish and has to ask people to repeat themselves a few times, but understands that he needs to continue practicing to get better.

After his third Jack and Coke, Larry has worked up the courage to start a conversation. He doesn’t feel like speaking Spanish, so he begins by asking people if they speak English, and then leaves angrily when they say no. He finally finds someone who is studying English and wants to practice. The man has a thick accent and talks very slowly. Larry laughs at him. The man mentions the football game on TV, and Larry responds by saying that soccer is boring and for sissies. The conversation does not last very long.

When his friends finally arrive, Charles tries to greet them respectfully. This leads to a few awkward moments of not being sure whether to shake hands or give a kiss. Charles laughs off these mistakes and orders a round for his friends.

When his friends finally arrive, Larry is angry. One of them attempts to kiss him on the cheek, but Larry pushes him away and makes a small scene, embarrassing his new friend. Larry tells his friends that they all owe him drinks because they were late and made him talk to some guy about soccer while he was waiting.
One of Charles’ friends suggests that he tries a fernet. Charles usually doesn’t like mixed drinks, but agrees to give it a try when he finds out that it is a traditional regional cocktail. It is a little bitter for his taste, and he tells his buddy that it is “interesting.”

One of Larry’s friends suggests that he tries a fernet. Larry asks if he can get one with whiskey. When he is told that there is no whiskey in a fernet, he refuses to drink it. He eventually takes one sip of the drink before spitting it out on the floor, cursing his friend and asking him how he could possibly drink something like that.

Charles is enjoying himself. He has met a number of people and has laughed a lot. He notices, however, that the people around him are not drinking as much as people do back home, so he also slows down his drinking to match his level with the rest of the group.

Meanwhile, Larry would be enjoying himself more if he could see straight. Larry didn’t notice (or didn’t care) that the people he was with weren’t drinking as heavily as him. He has finished many whiskeys. He is unable to hold a conversation, and when he laughs it is usually too loud and not at the right moment.

Charles and his friends go to a club. Charles isn’t a huge fan of electronic music, but he decides to attempt dancing to it anyway. He knows he looks funny, but he is still having a good time and meeting lots of girls.

Larry and his friends go to a club. The second they step inside, Larry complains that “techno sucks,” and heads directly over to the bar. He stays there while his friends go off to meet girls.

Charles tries talking to some of the girls at the club. Two of them make fun of his accent, and another walks away when she finds out where he is from. He is tenacious, however, and eventually enters into a good conversation with a nice, attractive woman. They exchange numbers, and Charles returns to his group.

After three more overpriced whiskeys, Larry searches for a girl. He talks to one for a few minutes, before finding out that she is a prostitute. This angers Larry and leads him back to the bar. A few drinks later he tries again. However, this girl makes fun of his accent. Larry gets frustrated and goes back to the bar, not talking to any more girls for the rest of the night.

Charles parties until the early morning. When he is done, he leaves with a friend. They don’t know the area very well, so they take a cab home. Charles says goodbye to his friend, then goes home to sleep off a successful night.

Larry is passed out on a couch in the club well before any of his friends are ready to go. He is found and kicked out by security. Alone, he walks down the dark street with his head in his Guía-T, trying to figure out which bus to take. A man comes up behind him and demands his wallet. Larry wisely hands it over. Unfortunately, his credit cards and passport are inside. When he eventually makes it home, he writes on his blog that Buenos Aires is a terrible place and that people should just go to Cancun. Luckily, nobody reads it.

Charles, for the most part, did everything right. He was open-minded about Argentine culture, perceptive and easygoing throughout the evening. Larry took a far different approach. Tune in next week to see what happens to Larry and Charles during their second week in Buenos Aires.

Sam Ginsburg
LPBA Staff

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