The 6th Grade Girls’ Health Class Buenos Aires’ Edition
This handy article is divided into 5 sections for your giggling pleasure:
Protection, Period, Poo Pee, Gotta Get That Checked Out and Oh Shizzz. We hope you enjoy!
Wrap it up!
Condoms are called preservativos or condónes. In slang, they are referred to as forros. Many clubs and bars have them in the bathroom for free. Take a handful while no one is looking. Traditionalists can buy them at kioskos, supermercados (Disco, Jumbo, Carrefour), chinos (markets) and farmacias.
La píldora, or pastillas anticonceptivas are available in farmacias without a prescription. One pack costs about $60 – $80 pesos. They have most of the brands we know and love (or the same generic formula) but don’t carry that creepy ring that defies gravity.
“Umm… I know we’ve been having sex even though I can’t speak Spanish and you can only speak English in the form of Rolling Stone’s lyrics, but tonight I can’t …and I won’t be able to for about a week. Tengo la regla or estoy con la regla.
*Note to boys: Never, NEVER ask a girl if she’s on “la regla” if she’s being a bitch. This will only get you in more trouble. Thus, this guide does not tell you how to say that. You can thank us later.
If you are dating someone more sophisticated you might prefer the traditional, estoy con la menstruación or estoy indespuesta.
If you love the Tampax tampon with applicator as much as I do, bring a supply with you from home. Tampax has not invaded Argentina with its pearlescent wonder wands leaving OB to rule the market with their stubby excuses for a tampon. On the bright side, tampon is pronounced the same in English and Spanish.
Safety girls will be interested in buying a pack of, and I’m not kidding, pantiprotectoras.
Girls who I will never understand can buy a pack of toallas femeninas if they want to walk around with a pillow in the panties all day.
Unfortunately, there are people who will need to say the following words:
Poop (noun): caca
Poop (verb): cagar / hacer pópó
Bowel movement (noun, in the presence of professionals): defecacion, deposicion
Bowel movement (verb, in the presence of professionals): ir al baño, hacer de cuerpo, hacer del dos, evacuar
Pee (noun): pis
Pee (verb): hacer pis
Urine (noun, in the presence of professionals): orina
Urinate (verb, in the presence of professionals): orinar
Gotta get that checked out.
It is easy to go to a gynocologist in Buenos Aires. Don’t put off a visit if you think you need one. Here are some helpful vocabulary to help you explain what the F is going on down there, questions the doc might ask and also a list of hospitals and gynos in the city.
Gynogologist: Ginecólogo /ga
It itches: Me pica…
It burns: Me arde…
It smells like: Huele a…
Genital wart, lesion: verrgua genital, herida
I haven’t gotten my period yet: No he reglado todavía
For/During X days, weeks, months: Por/Durante X dias, semanas, meses
Is there a doctor who speaks English?: Hay un doctor que hable ingles?
I need an HIV test: Necesito una análisis de VIH. (Spelling pronouced “Bay-larga-EE-A-che)
Common questions the doc might ask:
When did you last menstruate: ¿Cuándo tuvo su última regla?
Are you sexually active: ¿Es Usted sexualmente activo?
Please pee in this cup: Por favor, orinar en este frasco/recipiente/envase estéril
The Day-After Pill is also available over the counter in farmacias. It is called la píldora del día despues.
Surgery and minor operations:
As mentioned in the Hospitals and Health Care article, Buenos Aires has fantastic hospitals with internationally trained doctors who you can trust. Feel free to get second opinions but members of the LandingPadBA staff have had procedures and surgeries done at local hospitals and have no complaints.
If you are having a serious health issue that you don’t feel comfortable handling in a foreign country, don’t be afraid to tell Mom or Dad you’ll be coming home for health reasons. You will have some ‘splaining to do. But even if it is just for a week or so to get your situation figured out, don’t ignore your health while you’re abroad. You can always come back.
Stay safe and enjoy your time in Buenos Aires!!