Buenos Aires Night Life: Pick-Up Strategies Compared

This is not some anthropological study, nor is it meant to be a representation of all men here in Buenos Aires or in the U.S.. However, I’ve been in Buenos Aires for 3 months now and like any twenty-something single tourist I couldn’t help but notice a few interesting differences between the bar etiquette of my boys back in the states and, the current focus of my attention, Argentine men.

I’m talking about bar behavior here, so let’s try to have a sense of humor. I think we can all admit that we’re not the best representations of ourselves on a Friday night, scrambling through bars and clubs like peacocks showing off our finest feathers, chests puffed out and hair teased. Man, woman, Argentine or Yankee, everyone can relate to what you’re about to read.

Because, you know, no matter how many times we read Cosmo’s “Ten Ways to Drive a Man Crazy” or Maxim’s “How to Be irresistible to Women” we just can’t get enough of this stuff.

With that said- Let us begin:

1.) Sparking up a conversation

Argentine Approach: Well, it’s quite simple. They just walk right up and start talking. Usually they open the dialogue with a slew of compliments such as, “You have such beautiful eyes.” or “I love your hair.”, “You speak Spanish so well.” even, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” It’s no question that Argentine men are EXPERTS at complimenting a woman. They certainly know how to make a lady feel special. Like she’s the only woman in the world. Most women just eat it up…As long as they “don’t notice” that Mr. Smooth just swept through three other women with the exact same compliments right before he got to her.

You see, Argentine men prefer to work with probability. The more women they talk to in a night the more chances they have to reach their goal (whether that be getting a number, a kiss, or a little more). So don’t hesitate to show a guy you’re not interested if they’re not doing it for you. These guys can dust themselves off real quick.

U.S. Approach: If a guy in the U.S. is giving you the eye from across the room, well…he just kind of does that for a while. He watches from across the room. Sometimes for too long, sometimes without making a move at all, and sometimes they wait for you to go over and start talking. BUT, if you can give enough looks, smiles and other flirtatious signals that subtly suggest, “Hey asshole! I’m trying to get your attention!” He might get the…courage…to come over and start a conversation. And then, half way through when things are going really well, he’ll suddenly walk away in an attempt to “keep you wanting more”…I’m just going to stop here. Moving on!

2.) The “Ladies Only Dance Circle”

Everyone knows what the Ladies Only Dance Circle is. Where a group of women gather on the dance floor and pretend that they “just wanna dance tonight!” and “Forget men! I’m just gonna have fun with my girls!” Then they dance provocatively with each other at the epicenter of the circle, making loud girly yelling noises so as to “not” draw attention to themselves, and every once in a while one or two will peer over a shoulder to take note of who’s been watching. Only to catch an eye and turn right back into force field like formation, shutting out all men like a female electric fence.

Argentine Approach: I call this one “The Man Pair”. Very simply put, The Man Pair is a couple of guys that go onto the dance floor together and dance…together. Slowly encroaching upon the Ladies Only Dance Circle, The Man Pair hovers behind, waiting to make eye contact with the weakest link- the woman who they will slowly and silently convince to let them in, changing the genetic make-up of the previously estrogen ruled circle.

Sharing is caring here in Argentina, so when and if The Man Pair is allowed through the barrier of hairspray and high heels the two will have an entire circle of ladies to share amongst themselves. Congrats.

U.S. Approach: Men in the U.S. are a little more jumpy about their masculinity than they are here in Buenos Aires. They hug each other as if they might be swatting flies off their friends’ backs and a kiss on the cheek (which is a customary greeting for all Argentines, including men) might result in being punched in the arm. Therefore, you’d be hard pressed to find any United Man Pairs. Instead, the men in the states hover around the floor or lean back at the bar and watch (a reoccurring theme here). Then, when you least expect it, BAM! suddenly there’s someone swaying behind you with their hands on your waist. Ladies, you have just fallen victim to a sneak attack by who I call the “Phantom Two-Stepper”- a man who appears as if from nowhere and dances in the same predictable motion until you permit him to move otherwise.

Fun Fact: Most men might not be aware of this, but when a woman suddenly finds herself entertaining a Phantom Two-Stepper, she always does a cuteness check with a friend across the circle. With a quick raise of the eyebrows Girl A, (swaying with the shadowy suitor), asks Girl B across the circle, “Is he cute?”. Girl B will either give a nod “Yes. Keep dancing with him”, a shoulder shrug for “Not bad”, or a clear “No” indicating that it’s time for Girl A to cross over to the other side of the circle, at which time Girls C and D (previously flanking Girl A), will squeeze out the Phantom Two-Stepper, sealing up the circle once more like a pair of steel palace gates…Wow! We are a crafty species, aren’t we?

3.) Overcoming the “Um, excuse me. Can I talk to her for a second?” Friend

Known by men by a far less delicate nickname, this female friend surfaces for a variety of reasons: Sometimes she swoops in to break up a conversation between a gentleman pursuer and her girlfriend simply because she hasn’t been getting any attention of her own and is bored of standing by herself. Sometimes she’s getting too much attention from unwanted suitors and needs to grab her friend for backup. Her most appreciated purpose is in response to a distress call put out by a friend who has lost interest in her conversation partner and needs a scapegoat for exiting the dialogue. And, other times she steps in towards the end of the night because she’s decided it’s time to go home, and you can be damn sure she’s taking her BFF with her. Usually using some variation of the line- “Um, excuse me. Can I talk to her for a second?” this friend is on a mission to get in the way. What are you gonna do about it?

Argentine and U.S. Approach: In this case men from both the U.S. and Argentina share the same strategy. They implement the help of a “wingman”. I’m sure most of us are familiar with the concept of a wingman, but just in case- usually blessed with the gift of gab, the wingman’s greatest purpose it to distract the above mentioned friend in order to keep her from interrupting any possible love connection that his buddy and her BFF may develop, whether the wingman is into little miss “Um, excuse me.” or not. Why? Because that’s just what a good wingman does.

To conclude this list, and add a little extra giggle, I provide you with a comedic depiction of the wingman, courtesy of an old Coors Light commercial Ode to the Wingman

Note: This is not “Elaine’s Guide to Dating”, and I’m not pretending to have you fellas all figured out. If I did I wouldn’t be taking the time to defend this article. Instead, I’d be off on my own personal island with the man of my dreams, basking in the millions of dollars I made off of single and confused women all over the world (of whom I am also one). I hope you enjoyed!