Dating Scene: Guys and Girls in Argentina Part II

Like their female counterparts, many men traveling to Buenos Aires also desire—or even expect—to hook up with a lovely young Argentine. What male visitors quickly come to find, however, is that catching the eye of a local lady can be more difficult than originally thought. More often than not, the sweet, modest gentlemen encounter the greatest problems when dating in Argentina. Why? Because Argentine women are experts in playing the game and they are looking for a guy who knows how to play and is persistent while being respectful.

Now, it’s true. The women here are famously beautiful, intelligent, and classy. But since these women are accustomed to being approached frequently by men, it may seem that they never hesitate to say the word “no” in the dating world. So what’s a guy to do if he fancies a go with a porteña? Aside from the standard rules of first impressions involving hygiene and appearance, there are just three simple lessons to consider before successfully, and reasonably consistently, achieving this feat both in- and outside of Buenos Aires. Like the tips in part 1, these are very basic lessons. But for the young caballero striking out on his own, they could prove most helpful.

For those looking for advice on dating the Argentine Women Head straight to Dating Scene: Guys and Girls in Argentina.

When should I take no for an answer?

This may feel like a trick question for anyone coming from North America or Europe, where the answer would be a clear and defined “always.” In Argentina however, the first no often isn’t intended as a rejection but rather a flirty indication to try harder. For foreign men in Buenos aires, the difficulty comes in differentiating between the hard no and the soft no.

So, if after your first pass a woman gives you a “no” that’s either said firmly and with conviction, or paired with a facial expression of pure distaste, then you should back off immediately. That is a real “NO!” All other indications of mild distaste or partial rejection in the dating realm could be perceived as “maybe.” If the woman hasn’t attempted to walk away, is making eye contact or smiling these are especially good signs.

All too often, I’ve watched as the more mild-mannered visitors quietly shrink away in embarrassment from the partial “no,” having misconstrued this message as a polite rejection. On the contrary, the soft “no” indicates that you may continue with your attempts at winning her over. But proceed with caution! The “maybe” could be a good sign, but by no means is it the end of this battle. What follows will require you to up your game incrementally.

What’s the best way to flirt with Argentine women?

Alright, you’ve caught her eye and made your first pass. Then what? To turn her luke-warm reaction into a hot, steamy affair, you will now need to catch her ear. But don’t be stupid! The worst thing to do at this point is to revert to old habits and start (or continue) drinking to excess. Argentines don’t drink as much as gringos, so unless you want to be the dumb borracho (drunk guy), take it easy on the booze. Rather, now is the time to be clever!

But please, be prepared: Argentines are passionate and well-versed in the arts and letters. Don’t be surprised if the conversation at this stage in the dating game turns to literature, music, film or art. So dust off that old anthology from that freshman lit class, and be ready to discuss your favorite authors, movies, bands, and artists.

These conversations can also lead to lively debate, another favorite Argentine pastime. Such debate can spark the fires of a new love interest, but if executed poorly, could result in an awkward end to the conversation. In general, when debating with an Argentine, avoid the topics of politics, religion, and past relationships, and always hold your ground in a reasoned and modest manner. Don’t flinch, because if you waiver you run the risk of coming off as unmanly, which will put you in the friend category quicker than you can blink!

Should I make the first move with an Argentine woman?

Although this is the third lesson on the list, don’t take it lightly. This is one thing that consistently comes up in conversation with my Argentine friends: they are looking for a man, not a boy. So make your intentions clear. Don’t shy away from striking up a conversation, and if things are going well, don’t hesitate to make the first move. Be decisive! Is her glass empty? Fill it. Not sure of where to go for dinner? Make a suggestion and stick with it. Is she leaning in? Kiss her!

Being a gentleman is not lost on this group of ladies, but you’ve got to do so with gusto and directness. If you get through the first pass, strike up a great conversation and then fail to make a move, an Argentine woman is going to think that you are not interested. Porteñas are discerning, but when they find someone they like, they will make it abundantly clear (although she still probably won’t make a move on her own). So get out there, be perceptive, be clever, and make your move!