Good Gringo, Bad Gringo – Part 2: The Sunday Asado

We’re back with the new series “Good Gringo, Bad Gringo,” where we go over some common mistakes that foreigners make in Buenos Aires. Last time in part 1, we saw as Charles, our Good Gringo, enjoyed a fun night on the town, partying into the morning and learning about Argentine culture (and women). Larry, on the other hand, was a Bad Gringo. He spent his Friday night angry and alone, mostly due to his prejudices and inability to adapt. The overabundance of whiskey didn’t help his cause either.

Asado etiquette in Argentina

This week, both of our subjects have been invited to traditional Sunday asados. This is a very important part of the culture in this country, a time with lots of opportunities to have fun and learn about Argentina. Though it is similar to the normal North American barbecue, there are some differences that could cause problems. As always, the most important thing is to relax and be yourself. However, paying attention to these tips can’t hurt. Let’s see what happens to our good and bad gringos:

Charles, before arriving at the asado, goes to the store to pick up a bottle of wine. Though he is no expert, he knows that anything red will go well with the meat he will be eating that day. He buys something sensible, and picks up a bag of cookies for after the meal.

Larry goes to the store and buys a few beers. He also picks up a bag of cookies. He returns to his home and consumes all of this as part of a one-man pre-game. Afterwards, he stumbles out to go to the asado.

Charles arrives with his gifts and is greeted graciously. While introducing himself, he kindly kisses all of the women in the room and then either kisses or shakes hands with the men.

Larry arrives empty handed. He introduces himself by voice only then goes to sit down. A couple goes up to him to introduce themselves. The man moves in to give him the traditional kiss, but Larry pushes him away. When Larry goes to kiss the woman, some of the beer comes up and he lets out a smelly burp. He doesn’t excuse himself.

Charles looks around and is surprised at the diversity of drinks, which includes wine, beer and fernet. He appreciates the variety, but decides to stick with wine, as he had heard before that that is the traditional asado drink.

Larry sees people drinking wine and fernet, then calls them pussies for drinking anything other than beer at a Beer-BQ. Disappointed that there doesn’t seem to be a keg, Larry cracks open one of the liters of Quilmes and begins to drink straight from the bottle. He asks loudly if anybody wants to play “Edward Forty-hands”, but nobody knows what he is talking about.

Charles, walking over to the parrilla, is amazed at how much meat there is. He doesn’t recognize any of the cuts, and figures that they must be different to the ones he is used to. He is very anxious to see if all he has heard about Argentine beef is true.

Larry, upon seeing the parrilla, informs the chef that he should really use a gas grill, because it is so much faster. He also can’t understand why there aren’t any hamburgers. When he is told that traditional asados normally serve beef and chicken, he excitedly says that he will have “a filet.” When his hosts don’t know what that is, Larry groans and goes off on a search for ketchup and bbq sauce.

When the meat is finally served, Charles joins in with the rest of the group as they applaud the guy who has just spent hours in front of a grill. Charles isn’t used to this custom, but he likes showing appreciation for what must be very hard work.

When the meat is finally served, Larry stays seated while the others applaud. He loudly asks, “Shouldn’t we see if the meat is any good before we start handing out any blue ribbons?”

Someone offers Charles chinchulines, which, due to his adventurous nature, he eagerly tries. Although it is a little salty for his taste and he doesn’t like the texture, he politely chews his food and says thank you.

Someone offers Larry chinchulines, which he at first refuses. After finally being prodded into trying it, he takes one bite before spitting his food across the table. He chugs half of a liter of beer to get the taste out of his mouth.

Charles enjoys his meat very much. There seems to be an endless pile of food in front of him, and he is happy to help finish it all.

Larry enjoys his meat also, but cannot eat as much as he would like because he is still a little full from all the beer and cookies he ate before coming. When he sees his hosts delivering potatoes from the grill, he exclaims “Me gusta mas el papa del horno.” Instead of expressing his affection for baked potatoes, he mistakenly says that “he likes the Pope better in the oven”. One Catholic guest must be restrained from attacking Larry.

Charles is excited when he sees one of the guests pull out a guitar. The owner plays traditional folkloric songs. Charles doesn’t understand many of the words, but writes down the names of the songs so he can look up the lyrics when he gets home.

Larry grunts when he sees one of the guests pull out a guitar, exclaiming loudly that he “didn’t know you guys were hippies.” Larry gets bored quickly when he doesn’t understand the lyrics, so he interrupts a song by asking the guitarist if he knows “Free Bird.”

After the meal, Charles sticks around for coffee, and everyone thanks him for bringing the cookies. He eventually decides that it is time to go, and after saying goodbye to everyone individually, he thanks his hosts and leaves.

Larry doesn’t like coffee, so he decides to leave early. After saying goodbye to his hosts, he tells them that his steak was a bit undercooked and that he should again think about picking up a gas grill. He then walks out without saying another word.

Charles had a great time meeting people, learning new music and eating great food. Larry will most likely never be invited back.

Tune in next time to find out what situation Charles and Larry find themselves in next!