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What not to do in Buenos Aires

Jed Rothenberg

By | October 20, 2020

things to not do in buenos aires

Avoid the tourist traps and things you should NOT do in Buenos Aires. Your vacation time is precious.

With so many top 10 things to do in Buenos Aires lists, best of Argentina listicles and travel forums packed full of dated recommendations, let’s change things up a bit and focus on what to avoid. In any metropolis that draws travelers there are tourist traps, time thieving trips and experiences the locals know are just not worth it. Here is a helping hand in avoiding what not to do in Buenos Aires:

The most basic of basic things NOT to do in Buenos Aires:

1. Exchange rates Read up on the latest tips for exchange rates in Argentina. A parallel exchange rate has off and on existed meaning you get more or less pesos for your dollar/Euro/Pound depending on where and how you exchange. Simply put you get $90 pesos per 1 USD at the ATM vs. $180 pesos per 1 USD at an exchange house. And sometimes vice versa! This could mean a large percentage discount or increase on your trip expenses. Do your research! Depending on your timing and exchange rates, it could mean an absolute steal of a vacation.

2. Avoid taking a random taxi from Retiro bus station, EZE international airport, the Buque Bus port and national airport Jorge Newberry (AEP). These 4 locations are notorious for having dishonest cab drivers that run scams. Arrange an airport transportation ahead of time for EZE with these guys or use one of the indoor transport booths. At the Buque Bus port and Retiro locations, walk a few blocks away from the entrance/exit and hail a “Radio” taxi. AEP has now added official taxi stands with automated cost kiosks.

3. Don’t bother renting a car  in Buenos Aires unless you have a death wish. Why rent a car when you have public transportation heading in almost every feasible direction, thousands of readily available taxis and a very walking-friendly city?! The drivers in Buenos Aires are very aggressive and many of the intersections lack any stoplights or stop signs. Drivers are to make split second judgments based on who’s car is approaching faster, who has more traffic on their street and whether or not their street has a dip before the intersection signifying they must yield. It’s like an impromptu game of car chicken. Parking is also a massive pain and deserves its own subsection discussing the trapitos (the guys who “watch” your car), but we’ll save that for another day. Skip the stress and take a taxi, Uber or any of the various public transport options; buses, subway or trains. For public transport you will need a SUBE card.

what not to do in buenos aires

4. Don’t wear fancy jewelry Upon arrival you’ll notice that no women wear wedding rings sparkling with diamonds. Simple gold bands are hardly a thing here let alone diamond studs, bracelets and fancy watches. They are essentially a neon sign announcing your are not from Argentina and have wealth to spare.

5. Visiting El Caminito in La Boca. For those of you who have not yet completed your research for your list of things to do in Buenos Aires, El Caminito is that picturesque scene of colorful buildings by the riverside. What really awaits you is the stench of stagnant port water, cheesy keepsakes and 3 square blocks of aggressive peddlers attempting to coax you into their restaurant, shop or touristy picture scenes. Do not go around exploring the area outside of what appears to be tourist friendly. It is not safe.

Do get an in depth tour of La Boca with a guide if you have the budget. A guide that really knows the history and has contacts in some of the hidden art and community centers will make quite the difference. The El Camninto area is quite interesting and a historically relevant section of Buenos Aires when explained properly. I would recommend a private Buenos Aires guide (like Madi Lang from Buenos Aires Cultural Concierge).

If a guide is not in the budget, I’d suggest only setting aside a few hours for La Boca and be sure to include the PROA museum, a pass near Boca Juniors’ famous La Bombonera and a pass through the area.

6. Stay out of the Red Zone. Speaking of areas you should not explore, check out the Buenos Aires Good and Bad area map. Constitucion, La Boca (outside of the El Caminito area) or the area behind the Retiro bus station aka Villa 31. These are the neighborhoods you are warned about. Heed ye warning and pay attention to your surroundings when you are near these areas.

7. Do not stay in downtown Buenos Aires. Avoid renting an apartment or staying in a hotel in Centro unless you are here for a very short period of time (1-2 days). Opinions may vary on this, but being an expat in Buenos Aires for 15 years I can confidently say that downtown offers little beyond scratching Buenos Aires’ surface. Shopping and the general area can be covered in a day. Also it is a bit sketchy after dark in some areas. There are just too many other superior areas in Buenos Aires to consider with vastly more to offer. Recoleta, Palermo Soho, Palermo Hollywood and San Telmo are the main areas to consider. Here’s some help on deciding which neighborhood to stay in Buenos Aires.

what not to do in buenos aires

8. Stay away from the “Shoppings.” The large Shopping Malls are notorious for being overpriced and general time burglars. If you are visiting Buenos Aires for a short period of time I would say skip these altogether unless you are genuinely interested in seeing the popular fashions of the general population “on sale”. Any shop that happens to be selling traditional Argentinean keepsakes (except the high end shops like Cardon, etc.) are simply buying them from the artisans at the readily available street fairs and marking the price up 200%. I am looking specifically at you, Alto Palermo, Abasto and Patio Bullrich.

Instead of the Buenos Aires shopping malls, check out the weekend ferias like San Telmo antique fair, Recoleta artisan fair and Mataderos market for your general keepsakes shopping needs.

9. Trusting the postal service is a terrible idea. Fed Ex and DHL envelopes are about the only thing that get through with frequency. For shipping items out of Argentina like wine or antiques ask for suggestions. The shops should know what method is working currently. However, expect a steep price tag.

Anything arriving to Argentina in a box will 95% of the time get snagged in customs a.k.a. the pit of despair. You can look forward to multiple trips to the mail distribution centers, chats with surly custom agents and “green card” requests (bribes). Your best bet is to find a friend that is making the trip and has some spare space in their luggage, check into services like Grabr…or roll the dice where the house wins way too often.

To give you an idea of how frustrating the experience can be check out the BA Expat site threads over the years. At the very least they offer good advice as to what to do sandwiched between all the complaining and horror stories.

Vices and Bad Habits (Sex, drugs and rock n roll below- reader beware)

10.CabaretsThese are the typical honey traps they appear to be. I have never heard a tale that ends well with a traveler wandering into a cabaret. If that’s your thing find a brothel or a strip club (that sort of tango is legal here and ends the way you’d want it to). Cabarets that promise “free ___” can be a costly mistake in Buenos Aires. The strippers string you along for as long as they can ordering overpriced drinks until a large bouncer steps in to ensure payment. For other mistakes you should avoid while in Argentina and a bit more of an explanation as to why those cabarets are bad news.

11. Say NO to Paco. There is a drug here dubbed “Paco” and Paco is bad. Pasta base (aka paco) is that chemical residue that is left over from the cocaine production process. Sure, there might be some high quality devil’s dandruff mixed in there, but it’s not worth it. Paco and its damages to the human body are most similar to its northern relative crystal meth or maybe an accelerated version of crack. Not a pretty habit to pick up while abroad.

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