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What not to do in Buenos Aires

Jed Rothenberg

By | August 27, 2013 | 1 comment

things to not do in buenos aires

Avoid the tourist traps and things you should not do in Buenos Aires. Your vacation time is precious.

With so many top 10 things to do in Buenos Aires lists, best of Argentina articles and travel forums full of thousands of recommendations, let’s change things up a bit with the complete opposite. In any city there are tourist traps and things Argentina travel veterans know not to do. Here is our helping hand to you.

1. The most basic of basic things NOT to do in Buenos Aires:

-Do not under any circumstances exchange currency at the airport booths. It is bordering on robbery right now with exchange rates below the official rate. You automatically get the official rate when withdrawing from an ATM. You could get an even better rate by bringing cash USD, Euros or Sterling and exchanging at a cueva (underground exchange house) with caution. If you must get some pesos at the airport go to either the Banco Nacion bank or use your debit card at the airport ATM.

-Avoid taking a random taxi from Retiro bus/train station, EZE international airport, the BuqueBus port station and the MALBA museum. These 4 locations are notorious for having dishonest cab drivers that run scams. Arrange EZE airport transportation ahead of time or use one of the indoor booths. At the MALBA, Buque Bus and Retiro locations, walk a few blocks away from the entrances and hail a “Radio” taxi. Or, download the SaferTaxi application on your smartphone

Here some more general tips on EZE International airport arrivals.

2. Rent a car if you have a death wish. Why rent a car when you have public transportation heading in almost every feasible direction, thousands of readily available taxis and a very walking-friendly city?! The drivers in Buenos Aires are very aggressive and many of the intersections lack any stoplights or stop signs. Drivers are to make split second judgments based on who’s car is approaching faster, who has more traffic on their street and whether or not their street has a dip before the intersection signifying they must yield. It’s like an impromptu game of car chicken. Skip the stress and take a taxi, hired car, or bus, or the subway or a train.buenos aires car rental options

3. Get your haircut. Haircuts in Buenos Aires are stylish especially amongst the women, but the barbers lean towards “mullet”. Choose wisely, use a recommendation that is tested and true. Whatever you do, don’t go to the cheap Supercuts-looking joint. I have received more sub-par haircuts in Buenos Aires than anywhere else in the world because I still think a haircut should cost $10 dollars. My name is Jed, but I don’t need the mullet to match.

Do, however, get a proper straight razor shave in Buenos Aires on the Man Tour. (Yes, I know, shameless self-promoting, but where else can I do it?)

mullet hair

4. Ethnic food, as in food that is foreign to Argentina, will 9 out of 10 times be weak. With importation regulations increasing by the minute, getting high quality spices, ingredients and equipment is an expensive and difficult task. Check out some of the closed door restaurants that specialize in a particular style or follow the great food blog Pick Up the Fork that will rarely steer your wrong.

buenos aires food options

5. Visiting El Caminito in La Boca. For those of you who have not yet completed your research on your list of things to do in Buenos Aires, El Caminito is that picturesque scene of colorful buildings by the riverside. What really awaits you is the stench of stagnant port water, cheesy keepsakes and 3 square blocks of aggressive peddlers attempting to coax you into their restaurant, shop or touristy picture scenes. Do not go around exploring the area outside of what appears to be tourist friendly. It is not safe.

 

IMG-20121201-00007

Do get an in depth tour of La Boca with a guide that really knows the history and has contacts in some of the hidden art and community centers. The El Camninto area is quite interesting and a very important area of Buenos Aires when explained properly. I would recommend a private Buenos Aires guide (like Madi Lang from Buenos Aires Cultural Concierge) or Anda Resposible Tour: La Boca & Beyond.

View Very Traveler Friendly Areas and Bad Areas for Exploring in Buenos Aires in a larger map

6. Stay out of the Red Zone. Speaking of areas you should not explore, above (Red = Bad, Blue = Good) are the areas that as a non-Argentine you really should not be going to on their own: Constitucion, La Boca (outside of the El Caminito area) or the area behind the Retiro bus station aka Villa 31. These are the neighborhoods you are warned about. Heed ye warning and pay attention when you are near these areas.

7. Do not stay in downtown Buenos Aires. Avoid renting an apartment or staying in a hotel in Centro unless you are here for a short period of time (1-2 days). Opinions may vary on this, but being an expat in Buenos Aires for 8 years I can confidently say that downtown offers little with regards to nightlife. Shopping and the general area can be covered in a day. Also it is a bit sketchy after dark in some areas. There are just too many other superior areas in Buenos Aires to consider like Recoleta, Palermo Soho, Palermo Hollywood and San Telmo.

8. Stay away from the “Shoppings.” The large Shopping Malls are notorious for being overpriced and general time burglars. If you are visiting Buenos Aires for a short period of time I would say skip these altogether unless you are genuinely interested in seeing the popular fashions of the general population “on sale”. Any shop that happens to be selling traditional Argentinean keepsakes (except the high end shops like Cardon, etc.) are simply buying them from the artisans at the readily available street fairs and marking the price up 200%. I am looking specifically at you, Alto Palermo, Abasto and Patio Bullrich.

Instead of the Buenos Aires shopping balls, do visit the weekend ferias like San Telmo antique fair, Recoleta artisan fair and Mataderos market for your general keepsakes shopping needs.

Other related shopping articles:

Leather shopping in Argentina

BA Shop Girl’s top hidden shopping boutiques

Vices and Bad Habits (Sex, drugs and rock n roll below- reader beware)

9. Enter Cabarets and Strip Clubs at your own will. These clubs are the typical honey traps they appear to be. I have never heard a tale that ends well with a traveler wandering into a cabaret. If that’s your thing find a brothel or a strip club (that sort of tango is legal here and ends the way you’d want it to). Cabarets that promise “free ___” can be a costly mistake in Buenos Aires. For other mistakes you should avoid while in Argentina and a bit more of an explanation as to why those cabarets are bad news.

10. Say NO to Drugs. And Paco. It is a thing you should probably not do in Buenos Aires…there is a drug here called “Paco” and Paco is bad. Pasta base (aka paco) is that chemical residue that is left over after the cocaine production process. Sure, there might be some high quality devil’s dandruff mixed in there, but it’s not worth it. Paco and its damages to the human body are most similar to its northern relative crystal meth or maybe an accelerated version of crack. Not a pretty habit to pick up while abroad.

bad drugs in buenos aires

Do try and encourage your other legal vices like trying the Malbec wines and some of the local microbreweries. Buenos Aires specifically is renowned as having some of the best nightlife in the world, and it’s fairly simple to get buzzed and find a hot girl without smoking crack or paying for sex.

Updated April 2014

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SO FAR, THIS ARTICLE HAS 1 COMMENT!

  1. Allan

    22/04/2014 - 1:01 pm

    I used to go to a barber to keep what little hair I have short, until I noticed he was using WD-40 to lubricate the electric clipper. He’s got one fucking job, you’d think he’d read the label warnings before using the stuff.

    Reply